Sometimes I can’t sleep at night. Okay, most nights, but lately I’ve been depressed and I didn’t think anyone understood or noticed. My sister told me last week that she noticed how depressed I’ve been while we were looking at sprinkles in Target and I almost started to cry because I am so sad and she said something like, “I see how sad you are all the time and I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless.”

Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be happy. Genuinely happy. Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to be happy again, that I’ll just go through life being. That’s it. Just being.

The world is stuck for me now, and I understand that it happens. Not everything can fall into place right away, but my patience is getting tested. I’m tired of things standing really, REALLY still, but I’m not sure if I’m fully prepared for change. Either way, change is bound to happen and I can almost feel it coming in the air - the wave of crazy shit that’s about to unravel.

I’m just no good with becoming content.